VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
