gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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