She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
