Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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