I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
