Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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