69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
