hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I faked an abortion last night.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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