If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
