i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
