No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
