Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?

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(314): View more from Missouri

sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.

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(334): View more from Alabama

i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'

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(443): View more from Maryland

she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.

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(434): View more from Virginia

She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable

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(480): View more from Arizona

Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.

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