You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
