He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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