Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
