I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
