PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
