does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
