dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
