I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
