I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
