I'm lost and stupid without you.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was a blind-side dick pic.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
