who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
