Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
