Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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