I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
