I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
