Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
