I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
