that's an acceptable place to lick
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
