just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
