so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
