I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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