I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
