If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
