Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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