Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
try to milk me bitch
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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