This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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