i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
