Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i believe in u and ur pee
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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