You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
