It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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