I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
