even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
