Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
