check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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