Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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