I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
