it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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