"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
