I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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